Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Campbell to attempt hour calorie record!!

Notre Dame cyclist Tim Campbell is planning an attempt at the hour calorie record for the Precor exercise bikes at Rolfs Fitness Center at the University of Notre Dame. "Just like how some tracks are faster than others, some bikes burn more calories than others...the Precor's at ND just seem to do the trick," Campbell said. Campbell is the current record holder at 2,136 calories and has held the record for 3 years now. "I remember my freshman year when I had a run of attempts at it. I broke 2,000 once on my own, but just barely. It was like 2010 or something like that. The record at the time was 2055. Either SR3K or R2G (SuperRaver 3000 and Rave to the Grave) had the record. We then all had a go at it, Maddog, Mike, and myself had a go. We all broke 2,000 calories, but I somehow rocked the 2,136. It was unreal." Campbell says that his new found zest for the record comes on the verge of him stepping on the scale to check his weight. "Yeah, I knew I was fat, thats not new. I'm just too fat right now." He hopes to generate some interest amongst the team in some record attempts so that he may be surrounded by like minded individuals. He has also started force feeding himself butter on rides so that he may replenish calories quick enough to keep them burning...stay tuned for the attempts on the record!

2 comments:

AdamB said...
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AdamB said...

Perennial fat-ass Adam Bee has announced his return to the world of competitive calorie burning to prove his earlier attempts were not fueled by doping.

"Those fat bags weren't mine, dood!" exclaimed the pudgy racer, in a prepared statement referring to the Operacion Porko scandal of 2006 in which several containers of liposuction waste were discovered in a team official's hotel room. Commentators have speculated that the mysterious "Killa B" label on the bags may refer to the disgraced rouleur.

"Name a time and a place and I'll be there, fools! The Beard is BACK!"