Andy Steves (seen left in photo where he was mistaken as the Unabomber) will make his glorious return to cycling on Sunday, August 24th at the Indiana State Criterium Championships at Rum Village in South Bend, IN. After taking a year off to pursue glorified male cheerleading in skirts and then a foray overseas to see how they really ride bikes, Steves has decided now is the best time for his return to the Kestrel.
The most winningest cyclist in Notre Dame histroy had this to say, "I'm pumped, man. As always, I plan on just chillin in the pack and unloading my sprint at the end. I've drank my Guinnii and my ass is still huge, so I don't have any reason to believe why I can't sprint my way to the top." Steves will compete in the Category 4 race.
Former team president Tim Campbell was very excited to hear the news. "I got the text from him earlier today proclaiming the good news. I skipped through the house with joy! I've missed Steves on the team. The race weekends aren't the same without him in my bed. I remember the first time he slapped my chest in his sleep at Purdue oh so long ago...."
The rest of the team was unavailable for comment, but the cycling world should watch out as Steves and his "Big Black" are ready to dominate anyone willing to toe the line.
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